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The Greatest Philosophical Hits Never Recorded

Philosophers have a tough time getting gigs; let's face it.  A lot of  great songs about philosophers have been written, but  never seem to make it onto the charts.  Heck; a lot of them never even make it onto eight-track.  (Try to hum a few bars of "Hey Quine," or "Descartes, Descartes, Descartes," and you'll see what we mean.)  Therefore, as a service to our profession, the editors are printing the lyric of some of the greatest of these unknown philosophical hits.  In the coming months, watch for the opportunity to download audio clips from our website.

Richard Rorty

(Volume II, no. 1 -- Summer 1998)
They say that Richard Rorty rules one-half of
this whole field,
with political connections through which
his power to wield.
Bred into philosophy, a Yalie to the end,
He has all philosophers could want; tenure,
contracts, friends.

But I, I teach philosophy
and I curse the load I'm teaching,
and my anonymity 
and I wish that I could be Richard Rorty.

The journals print his papers, every one
he can produce, 
Richard Rorty in the Phil Review, and in
J Phil and in Nous
And the colleges he speaks at and the reviews
he receives,
Oh, he must be so contented, with the prestige
he's achieved.


He's fluent in all discourses; he speaks
the native tongue-- 
be it Dewey, be it Heidegger, even Wittgenstein
or Jung
So my mind was filled with wonder when the
gossip columns read,
"Richard Rorty, at home last night,
was reading Ayer in his bed."


Simon and Garfunkel fans might recognize these lyrics as fitting perfectly to the tune of "Richard Cory." Coincidence? E.A. Robinson fans probably aren't reading this.
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