The Future Tense

In our last issue, Lisa confessed her fear of flying, and noted that she sometimes eavesdrops on others’ conversations, as a way of easing her fear. Charlene Haddock Seigfried begs to differ.

Speaking of fear of flying, maybe it’s not such a good idea to listen in on others’ conversations as a way to relieve anxiety. I hope I won’t soon have such a scary trip as I did the last time I flew back to Chicago from San Diego. The young man seated by the window in my row was very nervous when we boarded. Very nervous. He kept looking all around, especially back and out of the window, and then putting his head in his hands and leaning over. To his obvious relief, a woman entered the plane as the doors were closing and went to seat herself at the back. He kept craning his neck to see her, but she seemed to be ignoring him. Just before take-off, a stewardess asked him whether he would like to have her move up to the seat between us, but he said no. After take-off, she did come forward. She was wearing what can only be described as a funky dress and she had on a strange black hat with a veil over her eyes (really!) and carried a compact case that looked like it held a computer. She put it down very carefully in front of her. She took the window seat and he moved to the middle seat next to me. She turned toward him—and me—stared deeply into his eyes, then down to a little black book from which she recited a prayer from some Eastern mystic it seemed, to the effect that we should trust in God and not be afraid, it’s all for a great cause. He only got more nervous and they began to, well, become pretty intimate.

She then unclinched, reached down, opened the case, and took out a box of pills. She took out two pills and held them out for a few seconds, as if in some ritual. She said they tasted just like (some brand of) breath mints. Then she put one into his mouth, still talking soothingly, and she took the other. She said he should relax, it wouldn’t take long. By now I’m getting very nervous myself and thoughts of a suicide bombing raced through my mind. I listened even harder to see what they were talking about. This wasn't hard, since she kept turned toward him—and me—the whole trip and talked pretty loudly. She talked about how she boarded at the last minute because she was afraid someone would find and stop her before she could do so. [Why would they stop her? Who are they?] She said she told her mother goodbye. She was very moved. She kept her mother turned a certain way so she wouldn’t see them. She waited to board the plane at the last minute so they wouldn’t know she was getting on the same plane with him. [Oh, my.] Her mother didn’t want to let her go and told her she shouldn’t be doing this. [What? What?] She said her mother would miss her [because she’d never come back?], but this was still the right thing to do [what was?].

More hugging. He’s weeping now. She keeps trying to calm him down. She is as calm and steely as, what? As a dedicated follower of some cause bolstering a new recruit? A volunteer on a suicide mission who’s having second thoughts? She talks of having joined a way-out group and traveling with them across the States in a van. They were so wonderful, like a family to her. NO one was ever so good to her as they were. She tells him not to worry about his kids. They will be all right. They will be taken care of. [Should I tell the stewardess that I think they have a bomb? When is it timed to go off? Could we land before then? What if they don’t, though, I’d look like an idiot. What if they do?] I kept listening to see if they (she) talked about anything in the future. Did they have any plans for after the plane landed?

She kept talking about how much she loved him and not to worry. [still only the present tense] Then she opened the little black book again and recited a passage to the effect that no matter what happens we are in his hands. What will be will be. [!] She then says that he shouldn’t worry about his wife. If she really loved him and wanted to keep him, she wouldn’t have just followed him in a car, jumped out and slapped him in the face, she would have been more belligerent. [!] He wasn’t really deserting her, there was no love left. HE just sort of nodded and put his face in his hands again. [still no talk of the future]

She continued soothing him and then talked more and more about how she liked his kids, about the group [cult?] she traveled with, how nice each one of the members was, although they might seem a little strange. How they visited her faithfully. How one was into drugs again. [still no talk about the future] "I’ve moved my stuff out of the garage," she then said, "and made room for your boat." [This sounds promising, at last.] "You can stay with me for as long as you like until you get your own place." [Ah, the future tense never sounded so good. So they expect to walk off this plane!] "As soon as we land [blessed words], we’ll go our separate ways in case she has someone spying on us. Go to the luggage area by yourself and then immediately to the plane for Las Vegas." By now we were more than three hours into the flight. I ungripped the seat dividers and looked around for the stewardess and a drink.

So, there is some sort of escape and conspiracy, after all, but for what? I listened less intently now, but still learned that he was running away from his wife and kids. The mesmerizing lady was a Las Vegas showgirl, and she was now talking about more of his possessions besides a yacht and how wealthy he seemed to be. Also, how easy it would be to get married, once all this was over. But it never became clear why all the clandestine maneuverings were necessary. It was his wife, apparently, that they were both trying to escape. Why did they fear arrest or detention? Why did she need to keep bolstering his courage? Why was he nervous to the point of collapse? Was she kidnapping him, so to speak?

And, so, the soap opera wound down. Next trip, I think I’ll wear ear plugs.