Did You Want the Regular or the Tsunami Wave?

 On July 21 (Lisa’s 40^th birthday), we fulfilled Lisa’s annual birthday requirement—to do something she’s never done before—by travelling down East to Lubec and West Quoddy Head (see Travel Notes). Enroute, we passed a beauty parlor with the name "Coastal Hair Designs." We got to thinking about the various hairstyles such a shop could offer, and came up with the following list.

1. Low Tide: Style designed to flatter a receding hairline.
2. High Tide: A classic beehive—an updo, to the younger generation. Accomplished with a liberal application of spray (hair, not sea).
3. Riptide: The male comb-over. A dangerous hairstyle that threatens to pull its wearers into stupidity, as they struggle to fight the forces of nature.
4. Sandy Beach: Severe dandruff. Stylist may suggest tweedy fabric to obscure the problem.
5. The Red Tide: A Lucille Ball-style dye job.
6. The Exxon Valdez: A slicked-back D.A.
7. The Lighthouse: Artificial highlights. (In snow country, this hairstyle is often known as "Frost ‘n Tip.") This is the perfect hairstyle to make you stand out like a beacon in the crowd. Remember: every head needs a lighthouse. (That’s coastal geography humor.)
8. The Undertow: A wig. (There’s more there than meets the eye—and what lurks beneath the surface often isn’t pretty.)
9. The Rogue Wave: A super permanent, resulting in a single, giant, Woody-Woodpecker-style crest.

We invite readers to add their own Coastal Hair Designs to our obviously-incomplete list. Send your submissions to PonH, Life’s a Beach Department, P.O. Box 354, St. Peter, MN 56082. Every published submission wins the coveted PonH dental hygiene Kare Kit.